Stanley Feigenbaum:
There are a lot of Sandy stories about her somewhat deficient sense of direction. Like the time she told Libby that she knew where they were going and then led her into a blank wall. Or the time she bundled the kids into the car and went to Brooklyn for Seder and had no trouble until she got lost on the way home.
But the one that stands out is the day she went to the hospital to give birth to Richard. She had dropped David and Michael off at Marcia's, I think, and had driven to Huntington to the hospital. Unfortunately, the hospital must have moved and she couldn't find it. She stopped in a residential street, knocked on someone's door to ask for directions. The woman invited her in to use the telephone. She called the doctor's office, but couldn't understand the directions, so the nurse came and got her.
Which reminds me of the day that Michael was born. The contraction started about noon and she called the doctor. He told her to go right to the hospital. However, since the birth had not been expected that day, the house was not quite in order. After tidying up and finishing some chores, we arrived at the hospital, a 10 minute drive, about 1:30pm and found the doctor pacing the floor. She apologized to him for keeping him waiting, but explained that she had to clean the house - company was coming.
Baking has always been an avocation and a source of comfort. But baking requires following directions and some concentration. Sometimes this was difficult to do, especially with a phone clamped to an ear, somewhat immobilizing a shoulder and arm.
On occasion, the results were less than optimal and would have to be done over. That meant that we had an "accident" cake to enjoy. Over the years, we enjoyed many "accident" cakes. I cannot remember an "accident" cake that tasted bad, although some of them did look dreadful.
Baking does require measurements and we had a set of metal measuring cups. Over time, cups get dropped, mangled in the dishwasher, etc., so I bought a set of plastic measuring cups. She kept the remaining metal cups and prefers them, "because they're bigger."
There are a lot of funny Sandy stories that people know, but there are a lot of Sandy stories that aren't funny. She's the prototypical "Jewish mother". She worries about everyone in her orbit, and in typical Jewish mother fashion, tries to give everyone the benefit of her wisdom and love. That she is frequently ignored doesn't stop her from being concerned or loving the people involved. She knows that people have to make their own decisions: she just wants them to make the right ones. As far as Sandy is concerned, whether you are family or a friend, you have someone who loves you and wants the best for you. She gives of herself unstintingly, but when she was sick, she was surprised at the number of people who called and wrote and expressed their concern for her. She constantly tells me how good people are to her; not realizing that they are only reflecting back to her what she has given to them. At her 70th birthday party, after seeing so many people and talking to them, Lee said that they're not just friends, they're a fan club.
David Feigenbaum:
As I started to think back over the years to try to come up with some stories to celebrate my mother's 75th birthday, it became evident that there was too much material from which to choose, but here are a few stories that stand out.
Mom takes her responsibilities and her children's educations very seriously, something of which I was reminded in college. In those days, I had a habit of oversleeping, so I would give mom my final exam schedule every semester and ask her to call me to make sure I was awake. This system worked well until the phones broke in the dorms and I had neglected to tell mom. So imagine my surprise when, as I was leaving my dorm room for the exam, there in my doorway stood one very angry mother and 5 year old Lisa. I had an exam to take and she was responsible for making sure that I got there and, by God, that was what she was going to do.
In high school, I was very involved in the Farmingdale Jewish Center USY group and we had a basketball team. While my primary function was to sit on the bench so that the team might have a chance to win, I still had to be fashionable. Our uniforms were pretty basic and we didn't have our last names on the backs of the shirts like the pros did, but I had to have my name on my shirt like them. What did my mother do?
She traced the letters and cut them, all 10 of them, out of an undershirt and sewed them on the back of my uniform, one by one. I still couldn't play very well, but thanks to mom, I felt like I looked the part.
After I had surgery to remove my spleen, the hospital rabbi came to visit. Unfortunately, the rabbi had a cold at the time. Was this unfortunate for me? No, it was unfortunate for the rabbi. Mom let him know in no uncertain terms that he had no business spreading his germs to her post-surgical son and he was dispatched forthwith, never to return. I may have been 30 years old at the time, but that didn't matter. Mom looks out for her kids, no matter how old we are.
Over the years, there have been seven-layer top hat cakes, paper mache maps for school projects, family trips to places she's been to more than once for the first time, the blond hair experiment that caused me to refuse to come out of my room, decorating various apartments in numerous cities (and names of girls for blind dates in those cities - oy!) and so much, much more. We've been through the highs and the lows and no matter what; she is always there, thinking of us first and herself last. I can't thank her enough for everything she's done and the example she's set. She spent a lifetime spreading her love and her smile to all of us who are fortunate enough to be part of her life and I consider myself to be the luckiest of all. This is truly a special birthday for a very special lady.
Happy Birthday Mom!
Richard Feigenbaum:
Of all of the wonderful things I could write about my mother, the thing that is most notable is what a wonderful grandmother to my kids she is!
She has encouraged Michael's artistic ability and has sat with him endlessly keeping him company while he has produced "masterpiece" after "masterpiece"
for her benefit! She has (as a good grandmother would) appropriately praised his scribblings and exclaimed his talents as the next Picasso!
Mom has also proven herself to be a wonderful support to our oldest, my daughter, Alexandra. Mom has spent hours (and that is not an exaggeration!) whispering
with her and chatting about anything and everything that a little girl could be interested in. She has bought Alexandra wonderful books and each time was on the
mark - which was the result of all of the time they have spent together with their heads bent towards each other in those never ending 'discussions'.
I am grateful to Mom for being the very best grandmother possible ~ for showing my kids love and acceptance and for allowing Michael to beat her time after
time after time in UNO!
Lisa Feigenbaum:
My Single Life
She really wanted me to meet someone.
She signed me up, without my knowledge, at the 92nd Street Y.
Kept getting calls and mailings from them, couldn't figure out why.
Begged me to attend The Matzoh Ball, she was so sure this was my golden opportunity!
Bringing my Future Husband Home for the First Time
I'm telling this story for my husband.
He doesn't realize the severity of the situation.
Early on, Craig and I were invited over for dinner.
I was a little nervous; I wanted everyone to get along, the conversation flow smoothly, etc.
I have to say it was going quite nicely, until dessert.
My mother brings out her usual four options to choose from, and says to Craig,
"Which would you like? We have option 1, option 2, option 3 and option 4".
I hadn't seen it coming.
If I only had, I could have saved myself years of distress.
He says, "No thank you, I don't care for dessert".
The room was silent.
I couldn't believe it. I'd never heard anyone utter those words in my mother's house.
Who would have dared?
He was looking at me, "What did I do?".
Poor guy!!!!
I wasn't sure how to explain to him what had just happened.
My mother, stunned says, "That's not possible, that's not right, you must like some kind of dessert, you must."
"Cookies, do you like cookies"?
"No", he says.
"Cake, what about cake"?
"Not really".
"What about pies"?
"Yeah OK, I like pie".
Pie it is, it's his dessert until the end of time.
We now have pie with every meal.
Welcome to my family!!
Mindy Feigenbaum:
Five years ago I walked into your life
And four years ago became David's wife.
You made me feel welcome right from the start
Soon I realized everything you do is from the heart.
I love when we sit together and chat
Being on a cruise with you was such a blast!
Dad and you are a wonderful pair
Cooking, sewing, family - you just care
You've accepted my girls as your own
Even listen to me when I moan
I feel your warmth and all your love
As a mother to me you fit like a glove!
On your 75th Birthday I wish you all the best
Health and happiness, and your continued zest!
You are a woman of valor, you are our glue
Many more Happy Birthdays, I wish for you!
Lee Feigenbaum:
One evening a couple of years after Stan and Sandy were married, I went to dinner at their house.
Sandy, intent on being the perfect hostess, cooked for fifteen (just in case I was hungry). On seeing this overwhelming
mass of food, I said: "What? Only three entrees?". Since this was before she understood the Feigenbaum sense of humor
(even today, she's never quite sure when Stan is kidding) and she still had some insecurities left over from childhood (or something),
Sandy blew up, shouting "You're never satisfied!".
Bobbi Feigenbaum:
Las Vegas: Lee, Bobbi, Lynn and James went out to dinner with Stan and Sandy. Registered our names upon arriving
at the restaurant. Long line of people waiting to get into the place. After waiting about twenty minutes, Sandy got out of her chair with
a very determined look on her face, whipped out her cane and marched to the front of the line. She spoke to the hostess and got us a table
immediately, leaving behind a group of twenty people waiting in the lobby.
We asked her what she said to the hostess, but she would not share that with us.
Cruise to Alaska: Every time we needed to find a bathroom on the ship, Sandy would say follow me. I did and every time she got us lost.
We did meet a lot of interesting people along the way but I learned never to follow her again!
Libby Goldschmidt:
Once upon a time in the far out kingdom of Brooklyn, there was born a lovely, curly haired baby girl who was ultimately known as Sandra.
Fast forward a number of years to the far off minor kingdom of Long Island where lived Stanley, Lord of the 5 & 10 cent store. Stanley
lived with his parents, brother Lee (another whole story) and MUCH younger sister Libby, at a country place known as 165 Oakview Avenue,
Farmingdale. It was to this charming place that he brought the lovely Sandy whom he had met through a very happy circumstance (another story for a later date).
One evening as Stanley and Sandy returned to the Feigenbaum family manse from an evening out at an entertainment, anticipating a bit of time
alone in the living room, low and behold they found Libby ensconced there watching TV (Hey, this is a modern fairy tale). Being gracious and polite,
Sandy and Stanley gave no indication that they were anything but delighted with Libby's presence. Libby had come to love Sandy and enjoy her
company and had always admired and enjoyed the company of her brother, and was therefore most content to be in their presence (besides,
there was only one television set in the house). Ultimately Libby tired and saying her goodnight, retired from the scene; whereupon Lee arrived
to keep Sandy and Stan company. This procedure occurred on numerous subsequent occasions. Ultimately, in June, Stanley and Sandy married, partly
just to get a little privacy!! There was great joy and rejoicing in both kingdoms (though no air conditioning - yet another story). And in all of the
subsequent years it has always been my great joy to have Sandy as my sister in law, and Very Dear Friend.
Happy, Happy Birthday Sandy!
Much Love.
Judyth Brown:
There's no one story that stands out for me, rather I have a lasting
impression of Sandy's utter determination. I remember the day that
characterized it for me, it was a about a year before Lisa's Bat Mitzvah.
Sandy told me that she was baking for the reception. She opened her freezer and
there, neatly labeled, were the first 20 or so installments of what would become a
fantastic spread. I realized then what it meant, that she would bake and bake
and bake until there were enough cookies to make a dozen Onegs. At the time I
thought it was nuts.
Years later I realized how very "Sandy" it was.
One cookie at a time, with undeniable persistence, she made her vision for her
daughter come true. That's what really sums her up in my mind, no matter
what she puts her mind to, she is committed whole heartedly and, with patient
persistence, does all she can, one cookie at a time.
Bernie Hyman:
My Sister Sandy - funny, sweet, strong and loyal. The very best of the best. I remember panicking before
going to my first dance and you taking me in hand and teaching me the Fox Trot "step together step". We both survived that ordeal.
You also taught me to hold a chair and a door for a lady. I guess that really dates the both of us. You are without a doubt the very best
sister a guy could ask for.
Happy Birthday with much love.
Sondra Hyman:
To Sandy, my sister-inlaw who I think of as my sister. I met you when I was a teenager and you welcomed
me with your sweetness and generosity. I shall never forget the very first gift you gave me. It was a silver bracelet. It was so
generous of you when you hardly knew me! Thru the years our relationship has flourished and matured to where we can confide
and not be judged by the other. We are especially friends.
Happy Birthday
With my love.
Marc Hyman:
My first memory of being away from home were the times I stayed with Aunt Sandy in Binghamton, I spent these occasions with you.
I always felt as if I never left home. You always made me feel happy, safe and comfortable.
I remember picking blueberries in the yard. What a long two hours that was!!!!!!!!!
My best memories were playing hide and go seek and soccer in your basement in Farmingdale. Later in life when things got
tougher for myself and you; you always were willing to listen to my problems and you were so caring. I will never forget.
You're a Great Aunt and I wish you only happiness.
Love.
Karyn Toron:
Wow, where have the years gone! I have a lot of great memories about you growing up. But, I guess the
one the sticks out the most in my mind was the week that I spent alone with you in Binghamton. We picked blueberries off
your trees in the backyard and made jam. We went to the craft store and got all kinds of activities to do. We hooked rugs and
made decoupage. That was my first time doing it and I loved it! You helped to bring out a creative side of me that I didn't know I had.
Anyway, have a very Happy 75th Birthday, you deserve it!
Andrea Welti:
It's all about food and hugs. As I think back to childhood visits to your house, I can remember many great
activities that you thought of to entertain Lisa and me. However, what stands out most, are big hugs when I walked in the door
and fabulous food. I've always enjoyed watching you cook and present incredible dishes. Of course I never minded the eating part either.
In college, my appreciation for your cooking continued, but that goes without saying.
As my love for cooking has grown, I've enjoyed your willingness to share with me. The cookbooks that you've given me as gifts
and hand-me-downs throughout the years have become my favorites, both because of what they contain and that they are from you.
I always think of you when I pull recipes from them. Your patient advice when I call at 10 pm in a panic about a cake that won't
unmold is the best gift of all. My parents tell me that I share your need to cook at odd hours, to relieve stress. It must be genetic.
(Now, if I could only remember that baking with kids adds stress...but, I do hope to pass this hobby along.)
I look forward to preparing a meal for you, for a change, when I see you this summer in Saratoga.
Happy Birthday! Much love.
Marcia Rappaport:
After 53 years of FRIENDSHIP, my "Sister Sandy" and I have shared many stories. We've had many laughs,
secrets, tears and joy through the years. To select one is difficult and yet here is a "Sandyism" I often think of:
I visited
Sandy, in the hospital, not long after her kidney operation. The very first thing she said to me, as I sat down was,"Why did you
have a facelift without telling me?" "I didn't have a face lift", I said, "and I would have told you if I did". We argued back and forth
until she was completely satisfied I didn't do such a thing [at least] without telling her.
Whenever I think about that incident, I realize that's the true essence of Sandy. Always concerned about those around her and truly
interested in their welfare. I also know it was the burden of the operation lifted away and seeing me again.
I also know it was our relief and love for each other radiating from our eyes that made her think that I was beautiful.
I also know that the goodness that spills from Sandy always makes her beautiful to me...even without a face lift.
I wish many happy healthy birthdays to my dear friend with lots of love always.
Karen Rubinstein:
This is not really a so called Sandy Story. I just wanted to thank you, Aunt
Sandy. When I was sick with breast cancer, you were always there for me. You
called me, sometimes once a week, to see how I was feeling. When I was going
through chemotherapy, you called me to make sure my spirits remained positive
since this was a very important factor in my recovery. It definitely helped.
I want to wish you a very happy birthday and again Thank You for everything. I
love you very much, and I will always remember how special you are to me.
Hugs and kisses....
Bruce Ginsberg:
On the occasion of this milestone birthday celebration, I am delighted
to add my voice to the chorus of your many admirers.
For the first half of my life you were a constant part of our extended
family and community. We saw you more than our 'real" aunts, were made
to feel welcome in your home, given snacks and noshes....you were
always so kind to us and always had a good sense of humor. Your
friendship meant the world to my Mom and Dad, and after we lost them
you stayed in touch with us, asked after us and continued to treat us
as your family.
I wish you Mazal Tov and a very, very Happy Birthday, Thank you for
having such a big and warm heart and for sharing it us all for all
these many years. Thanks for all the many kindnesses, great and small.
You're a special lady and we are all lucky and blessed to have had you
around for so long.
May you be around for a long time to come.... to enjoy your family and
friends -- and vice versa.
All my Love.
Larry Ginsberg:
Here's my story, though it's not much. Aunt Sandy was one of
my Mom's best friends. They spoke for many years, every Monday night,
long after Sandy and Stanley had moved away from Farmingdale, until my
parent's death in 1987.
My memory is that in 1970 or so, I had my appendix removed emergently.
During my convalescence, Aunt Sandy came by with a gift; it was the
record album called "Sweet Baby James," by an artist I'd never heard
of, James Taylor. How did she know about JT? Was she listening to
popular music? Had she asked the store clerk for a recommendation? I
still don't know, but that started a life-long love of James Taylor's
music, and I'll always be grateful to Sandy for that gift.
Aunt Sandy, thank you for the many years of love you showed my parents
and my family over the years.
I'm sure Bruce and Ellen join me in wishing you well on this day and
many more years of health and happiness.
Love
Ellen Ginsberg:
Ok, this story is a little embarrassing, but it is one of my
first memories of my Aunt Sandy.
When I was little, probably only about seven, my mother had to leave me
home alone. She must have had some kind of emergency, because I had
never been home alone before that, and it wasn't until long afterward
that I was left alone regularly.
Everything started out ok, but then, for some reason, my nose started
to bleed. I went to look in the mirror, and there was blood gushing
from my nose. I was shocked, and had no clue what to do. I was trying
to decide whether or not to panic, when the doorbell rang. It was
Sandy, apparently coming to check on me. When I opened the door, she
didn't seem at all surprised by my appearance, basically covered with
blood, with more spurting from my nose. She didn't find it even worth
mentioning. Chatting away, she took me into the kitchen, stopped the
bleeding and mopped me up.
Sandy's matter-of-fact reaction to my predicament totally calmed me
down and I still think back to it when one of my children is about to
hit the panic button.
Sandy was always a kind and loving presence during my childhood, and
I'll always remember how much my mother loved her. My mother was so sad
when Sandy and her family moved to Binghamton, and she always greatly
looked forward to their Monday night telephone conversations and visits.
I want to send you lots of love on your 75th birthday!
Love always.
Paul & Metsy Scheer:
Why it is that one remembers what things their parents said to them when they were very young I don't know.
But I remember a day when I was in my late teens or perhaps 20 years old, when my parents came home from Farmingdale having visited our cousins
Bernard and Anna, and having met Stanley's 'girl-friend' for the first time. Paul, my Mom had said, Stanley is a very lucky boy. He found the perfect
girl! I wish for you, she continued, that you should find such a girl one day. That of course was Sandy. As the years went by, and I married and divorced,
married and divorced again, and spent many evenings in Sandy's home in Farmingdale, laughing and crying. The food!!! The company!!!! The shoulder to
cry on - That was Sandy. How many times did I ask myself - Why didn't I take my Mother's advice and find a 'perfect girl' like Sandy? How come, my cousin
Stanley was so much smarter than I was?
Well, I finally did find the 'perfect girl' for me. It took three times but at last it seemed to be happening. Then
I decided - well it's about time, I have to introduce my wife to be to the family. Stanley and Sandy were already in Binghamton at that time, but happened
to be in NY visiting Lee and Bobbi, and my fiance and I went for an evening. My wife is an Israeli, and especially at that time, some twenty years ago, didn't
speak English as well as she does now. But we went. About half way through the evening I found myself outside with Sandy. Just the two of us. She, of
course, had no idea what my mother had told me all those years before. She looked at me and said, You know what, I think you found the 'perfect girl' this
time. I was dumbfounded - and she had called it right. She echoed the words my Mom had uttered many years before, and in typical Sandy style had hit the
nail on the head, because I now know that I had found the 'perfect girl' for me. This my Sandy story. Maybe not very impressive - but very profound in my life.
A very happy birthday, Sandy.
Norma and Norman Goldberger:
I am a distant cousin who didn't get to know Sandy as well as I would
have liked. But, for all the times we were together, she was always such
a generous person. One time my brother and sister-in-law, and my husband
and I stayed overnight at their home in Binghamton. Sandy was a
wonderful hostess and the next morning proudly took us on a tour of
Binghamton with the destination being their art gallery. More
recently, we attended Lisa's wedding. Sandy (and Stan) were beaming with
pride. They certainly raised a lovely daughter along with her charming
brothers.
Sandy is a very sweet person and we wish her many, many years of
happiness, good health, and peace.
Love.
Moya (and Mike) Krohn:
I dreaded going to the luncheon but propriety prevailed. After a wild work week, I even hated the
thought of selecting attire for the occasion. I did not know many of the women well, and this only added to my attitude.
I slowly walked to the door of Drover's Inn and was greeted and given my assigned place. I found myself seated next to Sandy,
whom I did not know, and the day and the event changed for me. We laughed our way through the meal. She was the instigator
of the group and we all happily followed her lead. Sandy's questions, humor, and insightful observations made the difference.
I value her unique qualities and her friendship.
Lois Levitt:
I met you but a few years ago and yet it seems like a lifetime friend. We started playing Mah Jong and
you became an important friend in my life. You have always been there when I have had my operations, with food, and many kind words.
I know that there were many of days when we played Mah Jong that you did not feel well but you never complained. You have been a brave
woman through all of your illness .
I hope we all have many days for lunch, Mah Jong and many laughs together.
Thanks, Sandy, for being my friend.
Love.
Polly and Michael Grenis:
Three quarters of a century...not all good days...if there was ever anyone who deserved many, many more good days,
it is our Sandra Feigenbaum. You are truly one of the great people who give, but not to get. You are a fighter beyond compare.
You have the support of all who know you and love you. So, keep it up, dearest friend, and surprise everyone when we celebrate
your 100th!!!
To know you has enriched all our lives - best wishes on this milestone birthday.
Much love.
Sheila and Bill Lidman:
When I think of Sandy I always remember the wonderful food and cakes she made and the recipe I still
have that she sent me. In fact some of those cakes and cookies are still the favorites of our grandchildren. We can only
wish Sandy a very happy birthday and it just doesn't seem possible that she has reached that milestone. We all have great
memories of our times together in Farmingdale.
Mazel Tov.
Marilyn Bell:
I don't know if this is my favorite story or not, but it's one that comes to mind right away.
When I was first getting to know Sandy, by way of our all learning to play Mah Jongg, she decided to start a game outside of the
lessons that had just been concluded. Sandy, Libby Goldschmidt, Judy Epstein and I were in this game. I was just there on a temporary basis,
filling in until Lorrie Levey returned from Florida. Incidentally, that temporary basis has been approximately twelve years, as everyone decided
when Lorrie returned that we really needed a fifth and I was IT!
Anyway, we were playing at Sandy and Stan's house one night and no one
could seem to make a Mah Jongg -- we were having wall games all night long. When the evening finally concluded and we put the set away,
we found that there were two tiles still inside the case that Sandy had neglected to put out. That certainly explained the inability of anyone
to make Mah Jongg. I think we all laughed about that for at least a week.
One of the many things I love about Sandy is her ability to make us laugh. She is a very special person, and a most special friend to me.
Naoma and Len Feld:
This is based loosely on the Alphabet Song: "A - You're Adorable..."
We decided it is appropriate to do this for Sandy (Sandra).
S - You're sensational
A - You're always there when needed
N - You're as nice as can be
D - You're so daring and
R - you're romantic
A - you're so awsome as we see
Top all this off with being a good cook, and just a wonderful person and friend to know.
Happy special birthday.
Love.
Gloria and Stan Pelter:
It's hard to think you're 75
You're beautiful, vibrant and so alive
What can we say about you?
Nothing too strange that is true
You've always been polite and nice
Full of great advice--
When we were getting teaching credits
From Albany in New York State
You kow the officials to ask for
So that evaluations would be great
And if anyone needed work done on a house
Your recommendations were always first-rate.
The first time we went out with our husbands
To a movie we did go
Those were the days of the first risque shows
And you wouldn't go to waste
your time
To anything in bad taste
You said, looking at the titles in prose
I'll eat a lollipop and keep my eyes closed!
Actually we all felt the same way
and in a "G" rated movie we did stay
What can we wish our wonderful friend
Whose love for family and friends never ends
Who reads fine books, her home is a haven
And let's not forget she's a mah jongg maven.
May you continue being you
And may life hold in store
Love, good health and friendships
For at least fifty more.
Best wishes
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