Sandra Hyman Feigenbaum

My Sandy - A Life in Pictures
August 6, 1930 to August 8, 2007

Sandy was a survivor. She proved it at an early age when she was told that she would never walk again after contracting polio at 18. When she was tired, she walked with a limp, and in later years, she walked with a cane, but she walked! She hated to have anything slow her down or stop her.

She had an enormous capacity for love and a great tolerance for those who abused her good nature. If you were Sandy’s friend, you were a friend for life, and so were your children.

Sandy was a survivor. To have survived the cancers for as long as she did, you have to be lucky. Lucky to find the doctor who cares about you. Lucky enough so that your body can withstand the stresses from the toxic chemo that’s your only chance for a cure. Lucky enough so that you respond to the poisons administered. Lucky enough so that something new comes along when you need it, because all the treatments lose effectiveness altogether too quickly.  One of the drugs that Sandy was on has a failure rate of 60%. It does absolutely nothing for 60% of the patients, works somewhat in 34%, and is effective in only 6%. Sandy was lucky enough to be in the 6%.

But luck is only the starting point. Luck gets you to the door. What happens after you open the door is up to the individual. Sandy was a fighter. She had courage, spirit, determination, guts, and a smile for everyone, and she did not want to be pitied. Sandy decided that she would not let the damn disease ruin her life, and it didn’t. Oh, it slowed her down, and she had to accommodate to the treatments and their aftereffects, but she always picked up and continued her life - making plans way in advance, setting things in motion with family and friends. She accepted her problems. She complained occasionally, wondering when enough would be enough, but never believing that her problems were worse than other people’s. She said that you never knew what other people were going through behind closed doors.

In the end, her spirit could not defeat the disease, but, in the end, the disease could not defeat her spirit. In the end was the end, as it inevitably comes to all of us. The hope is to have it arrive later rather than sooner. Sandy postponed the end several times through sheer grit and determination.

I learned a lot from Sandy and the way she lived her life. A lot has been said about grace under pressure. I learned what that really means.

I miss her.

Stanley Feigenbaum